What do you say when you talk to yourself? Do you praise and support yourself with positive statements or do you chastise yourself for being inadequate and a failure? Most of us don’t even realize how negative and self-defeating our self-talk is until someone else points it out to us.
Do you ever find yourself thinking or saying “I can’t…” or “if I only could…” or “I can never…”? When you say something bad about yourself like this your brain accepts is as fact and your subconscious mind hears every word. It doesn’t care if the words or sentiment is true or not, your subconscious just accepts it as fact and moves forward carrying out that programming. Negative self-talk undermines our confidence and introduces self-doubt and it is at the heart of everything that stands in our way of greatness.
Here are some examples of common negative self-talk. Do you ever say things like:
Nothing goes right for me.
I’m not smart enough to do that.
I’m such a loser.
I’d like to lose weight but I can’t seem to.
I always freak out when I have to speak in front of a group.
I can never catch a break.
I’m not creative.
How can you be successful if you are filling your head with such beliefs? This thinking may have roots in how you were raised, but it doesn’t have to stay with you forever. You can easily begin to reprogram your negative self-talk immediately. Send your subconscious the message to forget all that old programming and leave it in the past. Use language that is positive, present-tensed and self-activating. Instead of saying “I am always late”, change it to “I am able to arrive on time for meetings with time to spare anytime I want.” Replace “I can’t” with “I CAN!”
Concentrate on talk that supports a new and improved you, your ideal self. Positive self-talk is your secret weapon on your journey to success. Use it even if you don’t feel 100% confident or believe that it is true for you right now. If you consistently catch the old negative programming and replace it with new positive affirmations of fact, you will eventually change and eliminate that self-defeating programming for good. A phrase I’ve always been fond of seems to sum up the process well here, “Fake it until you make it!”
Imagine how much better your life will be when you decide to become your biggest raving fan and shower yourself with praise and support rather than finding ways to tear your self-image down. Start today. Listen for any words that you say silently to yourself or out loud to others, that reinforce your doubts, fears, or any destructive beliefs that you may currently hold. As soon as you hear yourself saying the negative…stop! Rewrite the statement in a positive and productive way and say it over and over again until your believe it is true.
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